Sunday
Resilience
Re·sil·ience
noun \ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s\
: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens
: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.
Like
a trampled weed in a garden, so is my life in Versailles.
A
place meant for love, romance, intimacy;
yet
has filled me, some might even say scorned me, with regret sorrow, and
bitterness.
Lovers
come and lay in this garden, my garden, to relax, unwind, contemplate life's
mysteries
They
pluck, cut, and chop away at what they see as my imperfections
Yet,
with the fierceness of a lion & the swiftness of a gazelle I rise out of the
pieces they leave me in and I return stronger than ever
I'm
not sure why they can't see my beauty.
Perhaps
if I were a rose or a lily or maybe even a daffodil they'd be captivated enough
by my beauty and allow me to enter into romance
But
alas, they see me and they run, they trample, they lay, they pick me up
And
just when I think I've found that intimate embrace, the wind blows and my seeds
are scattered
Pieces
of me are blown every direction…
And
they laugh…
Is
this a game?
When
did my life become reduced to a satirical piece of pleasure for your
enjoyment?
Where
is my right?
Where
is my voice in this matter?
Do
they not see my worth?
I.Will.Stand.
They
pull at me from the roots upward and discard my trampled body
But I
will not be silent
I will
return
2014: A fresh dose of reality
Wow, I'm half way through 2014 and I have not published a single post. Crazy! I guess it's time for me to start cleaning out my journal. This year I've started writing some poetry again. I haven't written consistently in a while, so this is a bit refreshing. Just a bit of a warning most of the stuff I've written is not all "happy go lucky", and if you're looking for something that fits inside of what I call the "Christian Bubble" then I encourage you to stop reading because none of what I've written this year fits in that box.
I like to think what I've written is pretty relatable. I feel like the perspective from which much of what I have written is, what some would deem ,secular with just a touch of Christianity. The reality is, although we as Christians are charged with being in the world [which is very dark] but not being of the world, because we allow the light of Christ to shine through us many times we are indeed surrounded by darkness. So most of the things I've written are observations of real life circumstances that I've been exposed to.
At first when I started writing I would stop half way through and try to turn it around from the negative downfall that my words seemed to be taking so that it would end on a good note. This resulted in a lot of "unfinished" pieces. Now, I have decided to just write what I see and feel.
So with all that said, enjoy the next few posts you see will be glimpses of the reality that surrounds me.
Saturday
Come
& listen, all you who fear God and I will tell you what he did for me.
For
I cried out to Him for help, praising him as I spoke.
If I
had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.
But
God did listen!!!
He
paid attention to my prayer.
Praise
God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.
Psalm 66:16-20
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Friday
Heartfelt Transitions
Some time ago this guy from Jesus Culture came and spoke at my church
about transition. I did not think that I was in transition like so many
of my other friends because I'm not moving, my job is stable, etc. It
wasn't until now that I realize the transition that is taking place for
me is in my heart. I have friends that are leaving, some leaving to go
to another place and some that are just leaving my heart. I've been
battling some time about a few particular friends and wondering if the
relationship is something worth fighting for. I've decided it's not, not
if I'm the only one fighting for it. I'm not angry about that, the
truth is that as we grow it is completely natural for people to drift
apart/grow apart. Some people are really supposed to be in your life for
a season, and that season ends you move on. Can you imagine if it were
summer ALL the time?! I live in Houston and although summer has its
benefits I look forward to knowing the cooler months are right after it.
Likewise, although some relationships with people are fun and I
thoroughly enjoy them when things begin to dissolve it's time to embrace
the end & the beginning of the new things along the horizon. God's been doing a crazy intense, interesting, uncomfortable work in my heart these past few months. I never realized how wounded it was. I never thought that I had it all together, but man, I am a mess right now! haha Even in knowing how much of a mess I am right now I have soo much peace about it. I can't help but thank God for EVERYTHING! The good, the bad & the ugly. Recently I found myself feeling overwhelmed with frustration & anger, and you know what I did? I turned off my phone, put my computer away, and I turned my heart to God. I gave it all away; all the hurt, the pain, the rejection, the anger, the malice, I surrendered it all to God. He said I could lay all my burdens at His feet, so with all the gunk inside I opened my hands and said, "God, here is my heart you can have it all", and never, NEVER have those words resounded so clearly in my heart before! He really does make all things work together for my good. If circumstances had not arose then these issues would not have surfaced and I would be unaware of this war ragging in my soul.
I recognize who I am, and who I was created to be and I tell Him those things too! I declare my identity over myself instead of wallowing in
whatever funk the enemy throws my
way. I thank God for whatever the unfortunate circumstance that caused
the ill feelings to arise because if "it" had not happened, I would not
know what was buried in my heart & I would not have the opportunity
to praise God in spite of. It is a war. I feel like when I'm in the storm that is is a constant battle. I imagine the enemy to be like a dragon breathing fiery breath upon me to see if I will break. Then I make the decision, within my own heart, to focus on God and not my circumstance. The truth is, our praise is a weapon and I find myself with a heart filled with thanksgiving.
I find myself thanking God so much now, now just in good times & not just in bad times, but ALL the time.
He is GOOD. Amen.
--------
I dont listen to a lot of gospel music, but this song has been stuck in my head! <3 i="" nbsp="">
My Praise is a Weapon
My Praise Is a WeaponYes it's a declaration
My God is King
He can do anything
My Praise is a Weapon
Yes it's a revelation
If God be for me
Tell me who can be against me
No weapon formed against me by the enemy shall prosper
But I've got a weapon that will always have power
My weapon is praise, for the rest of my days
I'm stomping on the devil as I lift Jesus name
Alpha, Omega, Jehovah, Messiah
Healer, Deliverer, My Victory from the enemy
I praise You, I lift You up
Tuesday
Living Flames
Howdy all! I thought I would
share something I received from God on Sunday. Here it is below, as always,
your thoughts, comments and questions are totally welcomed and appreciated!
On Sunday just after church
& after our fellowship meal a few of us were just gathering in the prayer
room and it turned into an awesome spontaneous worship set! While there in the
prayer room I received this vision of a fire out in the midst of a cold desert
where it was dark for miles and miles. I knew that there were predators
(wolves) lurking about but I also knew the flames of the fire must remain.
Though there was a chance that wolves could come, in my heart I knew that we
could not let the flames die out because there were people out there in the
darkness that would be drawn to this fire. I thought, how could they not come
and draw near to the warmth of these flames, why would they willing stay out in
the cold, surely they will come. 
I feel like this symbolic of us
as a body not only on the campus of UH, but us the cooperate body of Christ. We
are each individual flames, and as we go out into this campus, or even in this
world, that warmth that comes from those flames is the love of God. It draws in
the hurting, the broken, those whose hearts have grown cold, but a fire in
itself must be tended to. You have to continue to feed the flames more wood,
which I believe looks like us feeding ourselves more of God's word. The
logos. We have to cultivate and tend to the fire that burns passionately
for God in our own hearts with His word and allowing that to singe off those
fleshly dead things that try to weigh us down.
In the bible wood most commonly
represents our humanity (sometimes I view
that as things that are fleshly and that can easily fade away or that do not
align with the will of the Father or anything that you can have without abiding
in Christ). I believe that God is calling us to lay those things down at
His alter. [Note: when something is
brought to the alter it comes to die, likewise when we present ourselves to God
and make an 
alter we are saying God I'm willing to lay down my LIFE for this. I
do not live for myself; I live for you in EVERY area.] God wants us to be
those flames that draw others too Him, but that doesn't mean we have to come
and be perfect or appear to have it all together. We just have to be willing to
let go and feed ourselves with Him (His word, His presence) and allow His
spirit to work within us, which in turn will cultivate those flames, that love,
that passion, and that zeal for Him.
alter we are saying God I'm willing to lay down my LIFE for this. I
do not live for myself; I live for you in EVERY area.] God wants us to be
those flames that draw others too Him, but that doesn't mean we have to come
and be perfect or appear to have it all together. We just have to be willing to
let go and feed ourselves with Him (His word, His presence) and allow His
spirit to work within us, which in turn will cultivate those flames, that love,
that passion, and that zeal for Him.
-Authentically Cadence
Saturday
Soliders
So for a few weeks God has been resonating the word soldier in my spirit. I wasn't really sure what to do with it, or how it related to me, but this morning during the prayer set I received this revelation. I don't think it's just for me (though it is speaking to me very clearly in this moment), I feel like it is something that more people need to grab a hold of. So here it is below:
(Note: I pretty much just copied this from my journal)
I definitely believe the word solider describes me (and who I am becoming) because as a solider you receive your instructions from the general (lieutenant, Sergent, etc..) and you are expected to follow them out. Truthfully, you do not always like what you are told, but in the end it builds character, it builds strength, or it prepares you for the things to come.
In the kingdom of God it is very similar. God often calls us (as his children, soldiers, ambassadors, etc..) to do the things we do not always want to do, that are out of our comfort zone. But as we yield our hearts in submission to our commanding officer (God) and step out, we grow, we build strength, & gain experience that will be needed later in life.
We can't always see the results of our actions,
just like we can't' always see a seed in the ground as it is growing.
But after that seed has died and the buds
(that will later produce fruit) push their way though the dirt, we see
that there was something good working on it's behalf even through the
mess, even through the waiting, even through the pain of growing. Trust
and submission to the things and the ONE unseen bare more fruit than
resistance and rebellion. So let us be soldiers. Let us be willing
vessels who say use me no mater the cost. Let us catch sight of your
vision God and follow you wholeheartedly.
I definitely believe the word solider describes me (and who I am becoming) because as a solider you receive your instructions from the general (lieutenant, Sergent, etc..) and you are expected to follow them out. Truthfully, you do not always like what you are told, but in the end it builds character, it builds strength, or it prepares you for the things to come.
In the kingdom of God it is very similar. God often calls us (as his children, soldiers, ambassadors, etc..) to do the things we do not always want to do, that are out of our comfort zone. But as we yield our hearts in submission to our commanding officer (God) and step out, we grow, we build strength, & gain experience that will be needed later in life.
We can't always see the results of our actions,
just like we can't' always see a seed in the ground as it is growing.
But after that seed has died and the buds
(that will later produce fruit) push their way though the dirt, we see
that there was something good working on it's behalf even through the
mess, even through the waiting, even through the pain of growing. Trust
and submission to the things and the ONE unseen bare more fruit than
resistance and rebellion. So let us be soldiers. Let us be willing
vessels who say use me no mater the cost. Let us catch sight of your
vision God and follow you wholeheartedly.
-Authentically Cadence
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