This video really blessed me. I encourage you to take some time out and watch it in it's entirety. It's about 20 minutes.

PRo presents Redemption [The Short Film] from Reflection Music Group on Vimeo.

Some things are worth fighting for, but some things should be left to die in the fire

Some things are worth fighting for, but some things should be left to die in the fire.

I'm not sure where that came from, but I feel like right now it is really true for me and my circumstance. There are things in life that are worth fighting for, but sometimes we hold on to things that we love that put us in danger. Whether it's actual physical danger or a spiritual danger, the danger is still there.

There are many times God will pull us away from things that aren't good for us, but because we can't see the outcome in the long run, we fight against it and we run back into this fire that God started because He wants "it" to die.

Imagine your life as this house, and pre-Christ most things in the house [no matter how harmless it seems] are actual spiritual suicide. So God comes in, and He sets this house a flame, and you run out of the house towards God grabbing only the things that are essentials, but what if some of the things that you grab [and think are necessary] are really just spiritual junk and it's only weighing you done?

These are the things that need to die in the fire. These are the things that we desperately need to let go, but we so want to cling on to. I can't imagine what would have happened if Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego hadn't embraced the reality of who our God is before going into the fire [Daniel 3:16-28]. What would have happened if they'd gone into the fire and not embraced who God was but instead allowed fear to grip them. Would they have seen the angelic presence that God placed in the furnace to protect them?

“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.”---Jonah 2:8-9

If we continue to hold on to those things which hold no true power [only that which we give it] we put ourselves in a position away from God. Not saying that we're out of God's reach, only saying that we've chosen "it" over God.

It's so easy to judge

From the moment I heard this song [what i've overcome by fireflight] I fell in love with it. I feel like this is a great reminder that everyone has a testimony. It's so easy to look at where someone is now and to see how "together" they are but the truth is we don't know their struggles, we don't know their past. We don't know the "hell" that they've been through just to get to their current position; all we see are the end results [sometimes] and we think that's all there is to it. You'd think we'd know better than to judge a book by it's cover, but we've all done it at some point in our lives. But "if only we could see them yesterday, who they used to be before 'the change', we'd see a broken heart, we'd see the battle scars..."

Eyes of a Dove

I felt inspired today or really yesterday, Thursday, to write this. I'm not quite sure what it is, but here it is below. Some say they've got the eye of the tiger, but I've got the eyes of a dove. I say that because my eyes are completely fixated on "HIM" even when going through some of the more difficult parts of my life.

Through this brokenness I've set my eyes on your love for me [God] and I pour out my love for you.

Your fire burns inside of my wounded heart
With a deep passion yearning to consume all of me
But my heart aches from previous love affairs
Your pursuit of me is endless
It blows my mind to think of your love,
How unconditional it is
How sweet you really are
You see the darkness of my heart,
Yet still I am lovely to you
You see me for who I am & for who I'll become
You've made my heart new consuming me in your love
I have eyes for only you
Only you are true

Drink In Deep by Jake Hamilton // Marked by Heaven

I wrote this a while ago, but I feel like it's one of those things where a lot of people can relate to. I've seen many things growing up and even now as I'm in college I continue to encounter many people with each person having a different story of hurt.

"Their Voices"

What do you do when your life begins to crumble down around you

When the very things that once brought happiness and joy

now bring thoughts of anger, malice, and rage.

You feel so trapped because you're bound by your words to never leave or complain

So you're struggling to breathe because you're confined to this life

Trapped behind this wall in pure darkness,

Waiting to be freed strikes fear in your heart

So you live your life struggling to survive

You've been blinded for so long, now it hurts to see the light

And you find yourself wondering, "Is this really my life"

So now you're in a situation where you're looking at your life

and you're wondering how it turned to fiction.

You look in the mirror and you see this girl, immersing herself

 in the presence of men to compensate for the overwhelming presence of women

No father to call her own so she puts on this front, this fake facade like everything's alright,

Yet with every man she allows to enter into her life, a piece of her is stolen

Yea, she's giving away her life

She's found temporary satisfaction to what seems like a permanent situation

Not knowing she's just set herself up for pure hell and total damnation

Living in a world that says there's no condemnation

But the looks on their faces show thoughts that can not be evaded

So is it really her fault that she was easily persuaded

Now her life has crumbled down around her

What are you going to do, because the girl in the mirror is you

Abused and chastised for the poor decisions you made

You're crying out for help because there has got to be another way

You're looking in the mirror but you don't recognize the person that's starring back at you.

You see this person who is so beautiful, yet she doesn't recognize her own worth.

Her eyes have grown sullen because they're filled with repressed tears that

her pride will not allow to fall.

Who is this person standing before you? Oh how her spirit weeps and moans.

It's crying out for the attention and affection that no man can possibly provide.

You look and you see this girl who has tried so hard to please others around her

that she doesn't even recognize herself; because in the midst of pleasing other people

she allowed herself to become faceless.

Transforming into a chameleon and becoming fickle in thought.

The instability of her actions have caused her to lose herself in a crowd filled with

misconceptions of what life really is; always struggling to meet the standards of others.

Who is this girl? She's broken; Broken because she allowed herself to be used by others,

setting herself up for a lifetime of abuse and mistreatment.

Who is this girl? She's hopeless and hurt, drowning in a pit of depression and despair

because her pride will not allow her to tell others she feels hopeless,

she's hurting and she's broken.

Who is this masked young woman whose eyes have grown sullen

from all the heartache and anxiety caused by the stinging pain of an innocence

which she never knew existed until it was forcefully taken without her permission?

She is the cry of my generation. The voice of the lost and the hurting

Yes, He still speaks

Praise God for His wisdom. Today I was on the phone doing a referral for a friend  when the lady on the phone offered me an interview for tomorrow. On the surface everything looked great because I'm not working and the job was in my field of study [communications with a concentration in PR].  So I texted a few good friends and asked them to pray about it with me. I'm very blessed to have a few close friends who know how to pray and don't mind doing so.

 

As the day passed me by I randomly talked to God about the situation because I wanted to be sure that it was something He wanted me to do, but I seemed to be doing more talking than listening. So as the day progressed I found myself caught up in my own agenda trying to get things done instead of actually taking time out to hear what my Father was saying.

 

As the day came to and end I was sitting on my couch still multi-tasking. I was chatting with one friend, while watching the basketball game, while doing a few other things when I felt the presence of God come into my apartment. At first I was unsure of what was going on, because I wasn't really doing anything "spiritual". Then I just sat, still multitasking, but not as much, and was so thankful for Him and the fact that His presence isn't something that I have to work or strive at. It was a sweet gift from Father to Daughter, and a nice reminder that He does hear me when I ramble on and on (^_^)

 

While I felt His presence manifesting I suddenly got this urge to research the company I had the interview with. I'm so happy that God still speaks, even in the most peculiar ways, otherwise I would have made an unnecessary mistake career wise.

 

Although it is somewhat disappointing that I can not pursue this job opportunity I was reminded by a good friend that "His ways are higher & His plans are higher", much higher than anything I could ever imagine. Until God opens up another door I just have to sit back and trust that He will provide. So for now it's all about being patient, and trusting in Him. I LOVE IT (^_^)

 

Patience is a virtue worth fighing for

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing [this], that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have [her] perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” ----James 1:2-4 [KJV]

Patience is something that I’ve heard many people want more of, myself included. Whether it’s for our daily work environment, or to deal with certain friends/acquaintances, or even children, it’s something that we have all asked for at some point.

When you ask God for more patience, what you are really saying is “God, I want more tests. God I want to grow in my faith:

When people ask for patience, most times we have no idea of what we’re getting ourselves into. So when the tests and trials arise so quickly we say “oh why am I being afflicted!?” or “man I’m feeling like job right now” or even “why am I being so spiritually attacked!?” because we don’t realize that it is the testing of our faith that produces patience.

Patience is a direct result of tests & trials.

But most of us don’t realize that when we ask for it. So when the tests come we’re so quick to cry out to God and ask for deliverance from something we indirectly asked God for, which is actually some what similar to Job. Sometimes God will allow us to go through difficult situations to draw us closer to him.

You cannot fear the tests, nor can you fear the longevity of them. You have to stay centered on God, knowing that once He has perfected in you that area, you will be made whole.

When you ask God to help you grow in an area, He is not going to half-step; He is not going to drag His feet about it. He is going to perfect you in that area, and most of the time it’s uncomfortable. You’re going to have to go through “the fire” so that He can burn away any impurities.

Now of course I’m not talking about a literal fire, I’m talking about a spiritual fire; one where you begin to see things in your life change. Don’t be surprised if your bf/gf doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. Try not to be too shocked when some of your friends leave you hanging or you don’t get into the school you wanted to, etc…

Many times we get to this point of change and there is some uncertainty because we can’t see what the end results are. So we find ourselves wanting to rush what God is doing in us because we want to do everything according to our timing instead of being inside of His perfect will and waiting on Him.

I’ve been at this point, where things are not going the way I think they should go. I’ve seen things that I’ve had planned out [school, trips/vacations, work, etc...] which seemed concrete and solid have suddenly crumbled to the floor. I’ve seen doors that seemed to be wide open close, with no logical reason why, and most times [if not all] it’s because all of it was things that I’d tried to make happen for myself because I didn’t want to wait on God. I got hot being in that “fire” and I thought maybe God had forgotten about me.

For anyone that really knows me, they know that these past few months have been “difficult” to say the least, but at the end of it, through all the tests and all the trials [some of which are still currently going on], I’ve sat, I’ve listened, and I’ve prayed. I’ve definitely been grown in my faith & patience, and even as I write this, I hear Him and He’s said: “Be still and know that I am God”…..and that is more than enough for me.

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us”. ---Romans 5:1-5 [KJV]

The First Time

With a fire that burned like passion, the desire to know him finally became real.

Though there was this agonizing pain that pierced through my veins 

And the suppression of the flood is proven to be 

Inevitable as water slowly beings to seep through these empty crevices

That once held the place of my eyes, warm tears began

To trickle down these soft palates called my cheeks,

And the long warm embrace is concluded with a 

Blatant stare that seemed to penetrate my very soul

It was as if he knew me; like he really knew me.

Though this was but our first time together,

He knew what I wanted before my lips could utter a single word. 

It was amazing!

It was as though hours upon hours upon hours passed us by

Alas this was just our first time, my first time, with him

Like hot bullets piercing through flesh, the pain

Of having not know him for so long seemed to have been overwhelming

I felt myself shaking and watched as my lips started to quiver,

I seemed to have a loss of words. 

You see this was something new, a new kind of love at first sight.

This was something different, something real.

Despite all the negative things I'd heard up until this point

I was just happy to be in his presence

Relieved that he actually wanted to know me, 
As deeply as I desired to know him.

I've heard some say that love is synonymous for heaven.

Well if that's true then could it be that 

I had become so complacent in the place I was in 

that I was willing to walk by heaven & never enter it's gates?

Growing up, I could only imagine what this

Experience would be like, and here it is

Here we are sitting face to face.

Father & daughter, after being estranged for so many years

Who would have ever thought it would end,

Or even begin like this....

The Beginning

WOW! I’ve been blogging for years now. I wanna say since maybe middle school I’ve always had some type of online journal where I could write down my thoughts and feelings, but I’ve NEVER had one that was open to the public. This is a first!! Since this is my first one I won't promise that everything will be grammatically correct. I won't even promise that my posts will make since to everyone all the time. All I can promise is that it will be authentically me.