In this season of my life I definitely feel like God has been doing A LOT of great things inside of me. As I sit and reflect on this past year I can definitely see a big change within myself and my walk/personal relationship with God. Last year after finishing what would have been my 3rd year of school God told me to do two things that sounded ridiculous then, & still sound a bit ridiculous to me now, but I know that it was God. He told me to (1) change my major from marketing to communications, & (2) take a year off of school. How crazy does that sound!? I mean when you actually sit and think about that, who changes their major when they have just over a year left of school? Then who takes a year off when they're so close to graduating? Well, I did. From the beginning of 2010 I have been relying on God & God alone for provision in every area because not only did I not attend school, but I also did not work.
At this current moment I have no type of financial income flowing in my life, I can't remember the last time I've used my bank account, BUT Praise God for His mercy & His favor, & His provision. He's truly been taking care of me this year. God has made sure that when I'm in need to take care of me. Throughout this year I've been in a much needed season of rest, but also He's allowed me to go through so much inner healing, and spiritual growth. I've learned how to TRUST in God FULLY! I've learned what it means to have faith because that's all I really had.
In the beginning of this "season" of my life I was not excited about it at all. I'm so used to being able to work or do school, or do something, but having to sit still and allow God to orchestrate everything in my life down to the tiniest details was quite difficult, but it is what we're supposed to do anyway right? I didn't like the idea of in my eyes "doing nothing" because I felt like I had to do something and if I wasn't doing something then I was not being productive, but God saw it as just the opposite.My doing nothing, was the perfect opportunity to spend time with Him.
It's funny how you ask God for something and you don't even realize what you asked for, but God reminded me of not too long ago when I was working 3 jobs [one of which was overnight] and I was always tired but I so desperately wanted to spend more time with Him. So in my season of rest that's just what He allowed me to do. I've learned first hand that a lot of inner healing is not an overnight process, no matter how much one desires it to be, healing takes time, patience, and trust. One of the greatest things I've enjoyed is just seeing the fruit of all my prayers come to pass. Sometimes it really does seem like God doesn't listen because I tell him so much, so when He comes through and answers prayers that I've forgotten it's always special to me
This season has been painfully beautiful. Waiting on God to come through on His word builds a lot of strength and through this waiting I've learned how to endure even more. I've still got a lot of growth to do, but it's nice to look back and actually be able to see the growth without someone else pointing it out.
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Roneshia N. Shaw
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.
Wednesday
Just Thinking....Please Enjoy My Random Thoughts! :-)
God convicted me today saying that I had to narrow of a scope on things. Many times I sit and I pray for church with only MY church in mind, but as I was sitting and chatting with an old friend and listening to the amazing things that God is using him to do [miracles, healings, signs & wonders galore…lol] God reminded me that it's not just my church that needs help but it's the entire body of Christ as a whole that needs more of Him. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been guilty of this, where you're so busy praying for your church, or your organization, or your fellowship, that you don't spend enough time offering those same prayers for the cooperate body of Christ. We, the entire body, need more love, my power, more compassion, more of Him altogether, and more of a desire to know Him.
I am reminded of the story about the maiden from Song of Songs where she cries out to God and says catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyard (Songs 2:15) . How many of us are really willing to say that to God? How many are truly willing to give God full control and allow Him to expose those areas of compromise in our lives whether it is fear, sinful thoughts, attitudes, or even the misuse of our time & money? Are you willing to relinquish EVERYTHING in your life to God? Are you willing to give it all to live a life of purity and holiness?
I encourage you to examine yourself. Examine your life. What are you still holding on to? What are the things that no one else knows about but you & God that you hold on to?
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