Last day at the hotel: The Calm before the storm

   This last day at work was very good, it was very affirming. I never realized how loved I was by so many people there. It’s sort of sad to leave so many great people, great relationships, etc.. but I know there’s a time and season for everything. I do not regret taking this job, though there were a few people in my life who were against it. I know they were just looking out for me and my spiritual walk with God, but at the end of the day we all have to walk down our own path. Even if two people start off on the same path, the trails they each leave behind are uniquely different. The same is true in life, we may start off together walking in the same direction but no two people have the exact same destiny. So this is me, leaving behind my own trail. I hope that when people look back at it that God gets all the glory. I hope that people will see God’s grace, mercy, and love working all through my life.

   I definitely do not regret leaving this job, though there are some things that are still unclear, I really have a lot of peace about it. That’s extremely weird for me because normally I like to see everything and have all my ducks in a row, but I’m trying this new thing called faith. It’s VERY different for me, and I know that in this new season God is bringing me in I’m going to have my faith tested and stretched. If you’re reading this, please pray for me!!!

•  Pray that I don’t have an emotional meltdown.
• Pray that I remember who God is and what His word says.
• Pray that I remember that our present circumstances do not define who our God is & always will be. 

Right now everything is cool, but I know there is a storm coming, and I know faith & trust in God is what will see me through. I’m excited still. I can’t wait to see what God has up His sleeve. He never ceases to amaze me. 

 

Driest season so far

   Recently I had some VERY good prayer time, afterwards I felt so refreshed and rejuvenated. I can't help but think (and feel) like I just came out of one of the driest seasons of my life, but it was so good for me. I know many times people often view those "dry" spiritual seasons as something negative, but I beg to differ. It's in the dry place i was in that I learned to really dig deep spiritually and rely on the word of God and all that He has spoken over my life. I didn't even realize that I was in a dry place. Isn't that crazy?! I know some would think, "how could you not know that you were in a dry place?" But it's weird, kind of hard to explain as well; though I was in a dry place, I never really got to the point where I was absolutely dry, I just knew I needed more than what I had. In the midst of it all I was able to take my eyes off my present situation (for the most part, I'm not totally perfect) and really focus on God. I'm so incredibly thankful that I have His spirit dwelling within me, knowing that is what really kept (and keeps) me going. It's amazing and such a great reminder to know that inside of each of us is a river of life that flows out and we just have to be willing to tap into it and trust in God. I know all of this seems pretty vague, so I will give a few details.
    Once I started the job at the hotel it changed my life more than I expected. I was instantly in a new season, and though many who've passed through my life may disapprove of the amount of time it took me away from "everyone" [i.e. church ppl, friends, church in general, social events, etc..] I truly believe God had his own plan, and I'm happy I chose to please Him and not the people around me. Now I will be the 1st to admit that yes I was pretty bummed at times when I could not go out and fellowship with some groups of friends or missing church here and there, but God still allowed me to receive so much from Him directly, besides shouldn't everyone have that "wilderness" type experience? This job stretched me and grew me in many areas that would have probably remained the same if I'd continued hang around the same people and do the same "church" things. God used people at this place to surface things that were hidden in my heart that were not pleasing to Him that I didn't even realize were there. I'm so thankful for that because it put me in a place where I had two choices, I could either hand it over to God so He could deal with it, or pretend it wasn't there and live life in bondage. I chose the later. I feel like I have been stretched so much in love & humility, though I'm still learning and growing in these areas I can definitely say that I'm not where I was this time last year so thank you God!  You know even in the Amazon rainforest there is actually a 25% increased growth of leaves during the dry season, of course this only happens in those areas that have been undisturbed by people. It's believed that during this dry season the roots are able to grow deeper until the find that hidden source of rainwater deep beneath the surface. What if during this year away from everything that's what God wanted me to do? That alone is worth volumes and I would not trade it for the world, but I am soo happy for a new season.

 

Thank God for Roots

-->

Recently I had the chance to hang out with a good friend. We do not get to see each other all the time because of schedule conflicts, but almost every time we get together the presence of God show's up and He makes our time quite enjoyable.

It was a great reminder of how important it is to hang out with like minded believers. Most of the people in my life I consider friends are Christians however, not all of them have the same passion to pursue God in the same measure as I. The number is quite small. So many times I  meet up with of them and find that I have nothing to say because the things that interest them do not interest me. I RARELY willingly listen to secular music, I don't watch a lot of movies, and I don't watch a lot of television. Most people would look at my life and wonder what I do with all my time when I'm not working, and when I say spend time with God I get the weirdest looks as if they do not understand. I can't blame them, for the longest time I did not understand it, but when you have even the smallest glimpse of what your purpose is all other thoughts,views, or opinions  are meaningless.

I've grasped the realization that when you have matured and accepted that you are a son/daughter of God, you'll find yourself living a life completely abandoned to His will. It may seem foolish to others but in God's eyes you're walking out your purpose. Now I've only had a glimpse and  I definitely can not tell you in deep detail where God is taking me, but I'm excited for the journey.

The truth is, I have been called to be set apart. I forgot that for a moment, started to question what I was really doing, but thank God for friends who remind you where your roots are!

Just flipping through my journal..

So I wrote poem many months ago, in the earlier part of the year, but I shared it with Christy recently and she suggested that I share with the youth, but I figured I might as well blog it as well.Hopefully this encourages some of you. I Love you all! ♥

How cold my heart has grown towards the things of the Lord.
What once burned with raging flames has now become a flickering ember; as I’ve given my heart to fleeting things I’ve realized that I am guilty of chasing the wind.
How foolish I’ve become feeding my heart/entertaining these fleeting desires with things which will never satisfy,

and drinking from the wells of this world instead of tapping into the river of the spirit
I’ve had enough or never having enough.
Though I’ve given myself to many other gods and allowed myself to grow cold (sitting) in the place of complacency,
still you look at me with eyes of mercy beckoning me to come near.
As I sit in this weak and dry place I am broken before you.
You ravish my heart as you speak tenderly to me.
Gently you knock on the doors of my heart inviting me into deeper intimacy.
You beckon me , but I feel so broken and weak
You beckon me , but I feel my strength is gone
You beckon me, and that burning desire & deep passion I had is being rekindled.
Come In.
We’ve been apart for too long…

Fight Hard!! Finish Strong!!!

On days where I feel heavily attacked by the devil as he tries to fill my head & deceive my heart with his lies, I am reminded of my high school days playing tennis. Whenever we would get tired Coach Miller would yell at us "Finish Strong! Finish Strong!" I can still hear his voice in my head, I guess that's what happens when the footballs defensive coach teaches tennis. He pushed us & made sure we didn't quit when he knew we could go farther. So when I experience those unfortunate moments of times where I feel so weak & the devil is trying to flood my life with his lies I tell myself "Fight Hard! Finish Strong!" because sometimes you just gotta dig deep & motivate yourself!

I tell myself to fight hard, be resilient & not to give up because I know that if I resist the devil & choose to agree with Gods truth versus what I feel, the enemy will flee. He doesn't always go immediately that's why I have to tell myself to fight hard. I have resolved in my spirit that I will not give up regardless of circumstances. I've come to far in this journey of life to just buckle over and submit to the devils peer pressure.

I tell myself to finish strong because I refuse to quit. What good is fighting hard if you're just gonna quit later down the road? I have resolved in myself that God's plans for my life are perfect, even when I can't fully see what they are. I have to finish this race strong, in order to do that I have to remind myself that no matter how strong I think I am, the true strength comes when I lay down my rights and choose to trust in God.

So I fight hard & I finish strong. One would think that it is mostly mental but for me I would say that it is 85% spiritual, because if I don't feed my spirit with the truth of Gods word I can't fight. Sometimes I have to force feed myself the word, but I get it somehow!

--
Roneshia N. Shaw


Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.