Tethered

I feel like I just tapped into a part of my heart that I did not know was there. It’s good that God is shedding some light on those dark places in my heart that would rather stay hidden. In this instance I believe that the enemy is loosing ground as I choose to give up control. 

“Tethered”

Moonlit skies in the distance
the faint glow of the roaring sun
here I stand
alone.
Not even standing,
just floating in the distance that is between the space and stars
faintly communicating with the one who made me because I know
there must be more.
Sometimes, many times, I just float
roaming from space to space
serving from place to place
but still,
no one really knows me
the loneliness of the heart has subtly built these faint walls that appear to shimmer with star dust
you cant really tell they're there from this distance
like a garden enclosed, am I to many
slowly healing, rebuilding, and growing
these young rosebuds have been trampled by the most well meaning,
but "well meaning" won't heal these wounds or cause these bruises to fade any quicker
so I float
away & away
it's quite nomadic in a sense. Always wondering
never really settling
resting in the moment before it's long gone.
I never knew the wind could be so brutal,
I’d grown fond of those subtle breezes from the spring sky
there is more
more than I can see
more than I can imagine
if only I were tethered
a part of my heart longs for the roots
but there's a roaring part that won't relent from "freedom"
is THIS really freedom?
The words search my heart and know me resonate in my spirit
but thats a new level of transparency I’ve yet to experience
or, allow myself to experience
I suppose I am the only thing that’s holding me back
if I were to just let go
and if I were to allow myself to be conformed
then I would not deal with this I in me
this "well what about what I want" voice that lingers in the back of my mind
fighting for control
sometimes gaining control
if I were to release this I to the great "I AM"
then we would coexist together
and I would finally be tethered.